Dee Must Die!

The origins of this guy that was known as Dee are quite mysterious. Some say he was always there in me, just in hiding. But I remember when things started to change for me. I remember when the way I started to think shifted. I call that time ‘the turning from innocence’. This is when I was a younger lad and came into a foreign nation. I can’t blame this nation though for this change in such an innocent boy. Rather it was the enemy’s perfect time to catch the fish out of water. I was already a wild one before I came to Australia but it was when I felt that surge of freedom, that boundary less outback of my heart calling me. That is when something stirred up in me. I set forth to create and mould, by my own strength, myself into the person I thought would best flourish in a world that had no rules and required no accountability. From this Dee was born.

Dee was the side of me that I guess I had always wanted to be growing up. The wild one that all the boys wanted to be around and the girls couldn’t get enough of… That was the plan. As time went on I got what I wanted. But that wasn’t enough I started engaging in more and more destructive behaviour that was more than just immoral but even illegal. (I won’t go into details because I don’t want anything in writing that I can incriminate myself with! LOL!!!) Basically like everything else of the world it goes bad, decays and ends up valueless. That was me inside. God had had enough of my disobedience and things in MY world started to crash around me. My world that I had created was not strong enough to hold the burdens of the world as well as the burdens and shortcomings of my soul. It couldn’t give me the security I needed, the comforting love I longed for and the strength that I so desperately wanted. I simply wasn’t strong enough… I had to run, run far and run hard!

I ended up applying for my transfer from Warrnambool to Melbourne lying to my then girlfriend saying that I wanted to move so that I could be closer to my sister when she came to Australia and for my course and stuff, just to justify me having to leave her. These reasons were/are also valid reasons for my move but the real deal is that I needed to get away, run away from the snares I’d set up for myself. God was giving me a way out of that life and I was gonna use it without hesitation. I needed to e-vac so also ran away from Australia. I went home. Home is always a good place to get back into your old shoes. I was able to start picking up my pieces in my life that were misplaced or broken obviously with only the help of God. God gave me a second chance.

God sentenced Dee to death. Locked him up and put him on Death Row… Every now and then I hear him screaming from his cell. And to be honest there are parts of me that miss him. I know though every day that passes and that execution date draws nearer his shouts become fainter and fainter as he loses hope of escape. (the dude has tried some prison break stunts but God the Guard and Keeper of my soul has caught him every single time)(Come thru) This is my personal confession. Dee must die!