The Response: There is something about forbidden fruit

Hi People. I'm back yet again but this time I have be asked to talk about something someone else has written. Dorica, some who needs to join the blog world, has a journal entry (or blog) on her hi5 site. Now this blog touches on some really deep and sensitive issues when it comes to relationships.... (How funny, coz I promised myself that I would try stay away from this subject in my blogs.... well... champs...) If you have a couple of hours you should read it! LOL! Follow the link: Dot's Journal . In fact don't read my blog before you've read Dot's blog first.

Anywhooo... Since Dot asked me to comment on it I'll be as honest as I can possibly be. So take what ever you want and throw out what you don't! (That last comment is directed more at Dot)

For a relationship to work you have to give all of yourself. Who has ever half bungee jumped? Or have been on half a roller coaster? It's all or nothing! This does not necessarily mean that you have to lose your individuality because that is very important! But think of it this way, by giving yourself totally away you are in turn being a part of who you really are. God created us to be in relationships where you give yourself, to "be servant rather than be served", to "be last rather than first". So by living in the illusion that life is meant to be lived in total independence where you are not sharing yourself completely with someone is a smoke screen! I know what Dot and many of you are thinking.... What about the other person in the relationship? Well in this case we'll assume all things are equal, i.e. he/she is committed as much as you. Because in any case I wouldn't waste my time talking about relationships which are one-sided or ungodly, so lets assume the best. It is by truly immersing yourself in an experience do you truly enjoy and experience all it is and all it can be...

There is nothing wrong with songs like “Cater to You” which in the right circumstances are complementing, edifying and nourishing relationships. Look at the one side of the coin. If the lady is willing to do these things then the guy must be doing something right. True? And that is where I agree with what Dot says. It is a partnership! The ultimate team! (There is no I in TEAM) So yes everyone must have equal bargaining power! It's very very important to have a united front in a relationship! Communication is important and as much as the man has the final say in family decisions he should value his wife's opinions and views and should always have her in mind while making decisions.

(Bra!!! I've gone way off topic... Let me get beck into it!)I agree that people foolishly think love is blind. That is wrong love is pragmatic, well real love is anyway. It is a choice, a balance of options. People, never let emotions run you life! Love has to make sense! We can not expect to change the nature of people, we can not expect that circumstances will make it so that things work out better for ourselves. What we so often do as humans is staring at the doors that are closed and don't see the open ones... That's how (finally) the forbidden fruit comes into it! People so readily jump on the first train/tram/bus without even making sure that it is going to the right place yet alone same direction as you want to go in life. Only to get caught by those pesky inspectors for fair evasion and then realise that is not even the route they wanted!

Good things come to those who wait! It's sad that we live in a society that is all about instant gratification. Instant messaging, 2 minute noodles, microwave dinners, drive thrus, e-mail, vending machines unfortunately there is nothing lasting in any of these things! So why do we try put our souls in the same packaging? The false preconceptions that are put on our head that faster is better is wrong. So as much as that forbidden fruit may seem sweet, think... don't feel that comes later! A friend once told me when I was once considering in partaking in some forbidden fruit, when finding someone who is for you (i.e. not forbidden) firstly love them with your mind, then with your heart then finally with your body. Personally I've found that this works for me as a test, I used to get to order mixed up some what...

SO... I guess there are a couple of "desperadoes" are sitting there saying, "It's all fair and fine to sit there and wait for the fruit to ripen or to receive the fruit that is promised to you but what do we do in the meantime?" Well Dot put it so well, "Suck the marrow out of life!" Enjoy your life, not indulging in forbidden fruit but enjoy all the things that you should and can do before you are committed! What you do before you are married is as much a part of your destiny as what you do when you are. Stop looking at that door that is closed and look at all the ones that are opened wanting you to see what is behind them! Singleness is a blessing as much as being married! So stop looking at is as a curse and filling that self created emptiness, with the forbidden fruit!